oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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