We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
