im calling her cock vulture from now on
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Sorry my hands just texted you
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
