Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
