the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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