You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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