Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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