So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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