He is such a slut. More and more my type.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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