So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
