sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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