East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
sarcasm needs its own font
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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