im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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