She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
