Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
