well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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