UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
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