Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
