shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
