i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just high enough for therapy.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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