dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
