I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
