dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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