what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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