It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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