i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
