I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
