What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
