I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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