I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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