I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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