dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Randomize
