Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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