This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
