OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
