no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
