I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
