Im at strip club and am horny
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
