if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
