Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
