pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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