Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
