when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
3 2 1 whiskey
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
