thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
