Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
