wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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