there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
