The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
