omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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