Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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