her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Randomize
