It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
