What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
